After Caitlyn Jenner's highly-publicized transition and with trans celebrities like Laverne Cox and Janet Mock embracing the spotlight, the transgender movement is quickly picking up steam. Kudos to that! But merely sitting in front of the television to watch a global movement happen and actually witnessing it in front of your own eyes are two entirely different things.
Kyle/Unsplash | What do you think would be your first reaction when you come across a trans person?
Let us put it this way—what do you think would be your first reaction if you come across a trans person? Asking them a plethora of questions? A change of facial expression? A completely blank look?
Whatever the situation may be, and regardless of how “curious” you might actually be, we recommend that you really weigh your words carefully when speaking to a trans person. There are several things and topics you should probably steer clear of during this conversation entirely. The reasoning behind this? You might be new to the trans community and may not realize when you’re being disrespectful.
So what are those things and phrases you shouldn’t bring up when speaking to a trans person? Have a look.
“Isn't it Selfish? What About Your Family?”
First of all, taking a stand for oneself is not completely selfish, especially if your family really loves and supports your life choices too. Plus, you’re already assuming that their family is not on board or supportive of their decision which is quite presumptive, to say the least.
“Trans, Drag Queen... Isn't it All the Same?”
That’s a remark you shouldn’t throw at someone before getting your facts right. Drag queens are male performers who willingly dress up as women or female characters whereas trans people make a life-altering choice by switching to a different gender. Clearly, the two are very, very different.
Farhan Abas/Unsplash | Drag queens are male performers who willingly dress up like women or female characters. Clearly, that's not at all the same as being a transgender
“Is it Okay if I Called You 'She'?”
When you’re asking this question out of confusion, you’re actually not realizing that your dilemma is nothing compared to the plight of being mis-gendered at birth. Plus, you’re actually assuming someone’s gender by asking if you can refer to them as a female.
“Which bathroom do you use?”
Well, that’s a particularly offensive remark to say the least. Before you go around asking this question to someone in a social setting, know that they probably use the one they're comfortable with and which also corresponds to their gender identity. And, of course, it’s not your place or your business to enquire about which door they choose to enter when it’s time to use the facilities.
“You Don't Look Masculine Enough, Try Harder!”
Transgenders have much more important stuff to do rather than convince you by validating their gender. It would be better to just be respectful of their choices.
Sharon McCutcheon/Unsplash | Transgenders have much more important stuff to do rather than convince you with respect to their gender validity. It would be better to just be respectful of their choices
To Sum up
Like thousands of other people, you probably wouldn’t have even realized the number of trans people you've already come across without even thinking twice about it. And that's because they're just like everyone else—very normal people. But just because you know someone is trans, that doesn't mean that it’s suddenly okay to ask them all sorts of absurd questions. Respect their boundaries just like you would expect someone else to respect yours.
